Aged

A Facebook friend posted an aging app on my wall. The app was supposed to tell the user what he or she will look like in 20 years. I thought that I might look like my mother (I'm told I resemble her the most).

This caused me to think about her current age, which is roughly 60. I am about half her age. In another 30 years, I know basically what I will look like. Then I thought about how she was when I was 18 and realized she was close to my own current age. By that time, she had already raised her own three children and had participated in raising at least one of her own grandchildren.

I then began to realize that at my current age, she was raising three kids. I came to the conclusion that I am very behind. Not only do I not have any children; I don't have my own place; I don't own a vehicle; I don't own a bed. I don't have anything of real value except my electronics and my life.

I have persistently asked why I am so alone. Why am I *still* single? I'm not pretty. I'm short and round. I'm not the most outgoing. I generally smell ok. I scratch. I am diabetically-inclined. I have a great smile and an open personality (which is how ugly people are generally described on tv and in the movies). I'm very self-aware. I'm very intelligent. I'm even strong-willed when I need to be and accommodating the rest of the time.

So, I have persistently asked the Lord why I'm *still* single. I recognize that I'm "unique," "odd," "different," "eccentric," "quirky," and "weird." People that truly know me LOVE me. So, I am dumbfounded.

I thought all these things in the span of about 15 minutes on the way home from work.

My conclusion? To keep on keeping on. There is an answer and the Lord has it. He will share "why" with me eventually. Someday, I will get to raise some kids, even if I never birth them or get to raise them in a traditional family. Someday, I will own something of real value (like a house or vehicle; maybe even some furniture). Someday, I will have someone to come home to, someone who will be ever so excited to see me and hear about my day and figure out what makes me tick.

In the meantime, I will continue to go to work, go to school and snuggle with my Kitty Poo...